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Apr. 3rd, 2003 @ 01:26 pm ^I'm Ready For Love!
^Mood: excitedexcited
^Music: "Slave 4 U" (Britney!)
^LoL. Well, ready for Kit, anyway...

^Waving to all my friends, by the way!

Girly preparation stuffCollapse )

^So I am totally fabu for when he arrives!

^I have that nervous/excited thing going on. I'm almost dancing around the room. It feels like forever since I saw him!

^And it's also exciting to have some time off. A long (long) weekend! Just like a real vacation. (Needed as it's been so busy at work.)

^Can't wait until he gets here.

^I'm a little more nervous than excited about taking Kit to meet my parents. I know they'll love him. He's such a nice guy! (Maybe the nicest guy I've ever brought to meet them, actually. LoL.) But I hope they don't embarrass me in front of him...

^Look what happens! I go away for another short (short???) while and then find my friends have all sorts of news going on that I've missed!

^Congrats to my sweet Twin and good friend Evamaria shirasade for her very good news! I can't believe it! Suddenly she has a boyfriend. I had no idea this was going on... LoL. (I hope he's at least half good enough for you, sweetie! You deserve the best. After my Kit, that is.)

^Sorry to hear about Debra's husband losing his job. That's sad news. And my so many of my other friends have healthy things going on. (Takes me back to my own scare. Ugh!) I'll have to be especially good with sending warm thoughts out to all of them.

^Well, I think I'll check the fridge again seeing as I've only done that ten times today, just to be sure. I want to have all kinds of goodies on hand for my man. LoL.

^God, I wish the weather was better here! It sucks. So much rain in the past month (and recent days). And cold? You better believe it! We've had hail! Yesterday there was a terrible thunder and lightning storm, too. And wind! Ugh, ugh, ugh. (Kit will want to turn around and go right back home!)

^The fridge is calling my name!

^Cyber hugs! (Off as I dance around the room to Britney music...)

^About this Entry
Jan. 10th, 2003 @ 11:25 am ^Oh, Friends Are Wonderful!
^Mood: happyhappy
^Music: "Thank You Very Much"
^So I just want to say a big 'thanks' to everyone for the birthday greetings...

^By the way, my guy (rocks_family/kitrocks) sent me flowers on my day!


^(Do you believe that? It's so... un-Kit like. Stunned. LoL.)

^Hugs to everyone! Sorry I've been 'missing in action' so much lately. I'll try and be better...

^About this Entry
Jan. 10th, 2003 @ 10:50 am Oh, Sweet TWIN!
^Mood: so sorry!
^Music: (at least this 'extends' the fun!)

^I missed your special day! Can you ever forgive me?

^Evamaria's shirasade birthday was on the 5th (I missed it by five whole days--my bad!) And she's my beloved, sweet 'twin' online! I [heart] her to death!

^I hope you had a truly wonderful day, sweetie! And that you'll have a delightful and exciting year...

^Love you!

^About this Entry
Nov. 24th, 2002 @ 07:05 pm Behind Here--As Alway (Sigh!)
^Mood: nervousnervous
^Music: "My Guy"
^Okay, my bad. I just have been all tied up again in RL and haven't managed to be 'better' like I planned. LoL.

^But I'm anxious to do an entry right now. I just got back to my apartment from a long (read too long) visit at my rents house. Sigh. They are being so difficult. Such typical parents. I'm just shocked. They are never typical. What's come over them?

^I know they're upset. I know they're going to miss me. I'll miss them, too. I know we've never, ever spent Thanksgiving apart. But this is special--and I would so hope they could understand!

^So this latest thing is unreal. I mean, what difference does it make? Dad is just being as stubborn as I've ever known him (and he's usually Mr. Reasonable). I can't see why he thinks it's not okay for Kit to pay for the trip! I've already got the ticket in my hands, for heavens sake! Why would Dad suddenly be offering to buy my airline ticket? Besides, at this point you probably couldn't even get a ticket during holiday week. (Is he crazy?)

^They both seem to approve of Kit like mad. In fact, I think they're stunned I could even interest a man like him--so mature and good and everything. LoL. (Thanks, rents.) I suppose they haven't felt my past judgement was all that terrif when it comes to guys...

^So if they think Kit is such a great catch and all, why are they resisting me finally meeting him--and his fam? I mean, I'd be spending time with his parents and sibs and God knows how many aunts, uncles, cousins and whatnot. It's not like we're headed to Vegas for a weekend of 'sin' here...

^And it's not like they even have illusions about my virginity. I've always been extremely up front about my behavior. They know it's not like I'd be giving it up to Kit.

^I think they're pleased about his sincerity--and his religious background. Actually, I know they are. So what's the big deal here?

^I am going, come hell or high water. I did not work up the nerve--and go through all this arrangement and trouble--to have it trashed at the last minute. I understand they've got angst. Hell, rents, I've got angst! (They need to give me a break here.)

^I'm just focusing all my energies on Kit right now. I'm spending ages trying on clothes and fooling with my make-up and hair. I have to decide how I want to 'look' the first second he sees me...

^I wish I 'traveled' better. Sigh. I want to look awesome when he sees me! I want him to just look at me when I come from the plane and think 'yeah--right on.' LoL. Crazy? I think not!

^He's been totally, totally fabu lately. Well, he always is, but he's been even more so. I'm dying to see if I'm actually good enough for a man like him. He's amazing...

^I'm a little nervous about meeting his family. Jay and Dori are coming out and I'll be meeting them, too! His parents sound a teeny bit... well... they make me nervous. Mine are so liberal and everything. I bet his will be shocked by me. Sigh.

^But I think Aaron will be wonderful. He sounds like fun! LoL.

^I'm rambling something awful here. But this is such a big move.

^Okay, Twin (Evamaria shirasade), I've been going to write you about this and ask for moral support and suggestions. But I've been too freaked out. LoL. Send me words. What do you think?

^What do the rest of you (my dear, dear friends) think? Advice is welcome (if not always followed... LoL).

^That's it for now. I'm going to cut my toenails and paint them, do some other grooming and fussing. Make myself feel more girly and sweet. (A hot soak in an enormous bubblebath is entirely in line, I think. LoL.)

^Which clothes do I take? Should I take some outrageously seductive nighties? (Filmy and lacey and revealing? What COLORS?) Or no? I could stick to my shorty p.j.s. They're cute. Sexy in a less obvious way.

^This is very hard! Okay, Carrie czarina_carrie, what did you do when you and Nik met???

^Hugs to all!

^About this Entry
Nov. 15th, 2002 @ 01:44 pm I'm Still Alive!
^Mood: tiredtired
^Music: "Do I Have To Cry For You"
^Yes, I'm still alive. LoL. I'm just busy and spacey and not being good about lj. Oh well.

^Thankfully some of you (shout out, twin!) are very good about writing here, though--or there'd be nothing much to read! (And even when I don't get around to writing, I do love reading... LoL.)

^Sorry to hear about the troubles of my friends. Big, big sigh. I feel awful when things are bad for you guys! (Sending you cyber hugs!)

^Kit is fabu. My folks are now anxious to meet him (so does that mean I'm talking about him all the time?).

^I would so love to do that Vegas-go-to-the-Billboard-awards thing that MM and Charlie are doing! (I'd ask Kit what he thinks--but seeing as he never reads here. LoL...)

^Three more hours of work. Big sigh. I'm tired (and cranky) today.

^Big wave to all--sorry I've been A.W.O.L. again. My bad!

^Did anyone see Justin last night? Yummy. (But Carson was even more so. LoL. I'm biased.) Did anyone catch Nick's performance? I have to have that World Day for the Children song he sings on!!! Must. Have. It. Wow. (He has such a sexy, powerful voice!)

^Oh, tiny brag. Do you guys like the new icon I made? I [heart] it. LoL.

^Back to work... (Bye!)

^About this Entry
Nov. 1st, 2002 @ 07:30 pm Just A Quickie! (Waving!)
^Mood: pleasedpleased
^Music: "Do I Have To Cry For You" (Nick!)
^Okay, just wanted to share this cool icon Nik nk_seashore made for me! (Big thanks!)

^Yes, Twin, I was the one who mentioned your 'icon interest' to him. LoL. I wrote and basically begged him for a Nick Carter icon featuring Nick's 'shark' icon--but that was from some recent appearance. And this is what he sent me!

^He made one for my 'twin' (Evamaria) shirasade, too. (One with four pics of Nick. Are those all recent, too? Nik? Evamaria? Just curious...)

^You're a nice guy, Nik. Thanks again!

^Okay, I'm going back to work (I need a nap!!!) so I don't have to work late on a Friday night! LoL. More soon (I hope).

^About this Entry
Oct. 29th, 2002 @ 06:42 pm Forgot to Mention!
^Mood: giddygiddy
^Music: "Now or Never"

^By the way, for those wondering I thought I'd mention that there's no truth in the Portland-metro area to there being any shortage of "Now or Never" albums, as far as I can tell (and I was at several different music stores today... LoL). I even asked about it...

^I haven't fooled with the DVD yet, but I'll get to it. LoL. Just too busy loving the songs. Wow. What a voice. Seriously. (And I always thought he could sing, but I was underestimating him a ton...)

^Hugs to all my friends! Isn't it exciting to get to 'share' something like this with one another? Fabu.

^Hello to Marshall marshall_emmm, a new friend here. (Waving!)

^About this Entry
Oct. 29th, 2002 @ 06:21 pm Happy Dance! (And big wave!)
^Mood: ecstaticecstatic
^Music: "This Is My Confession"
^Can you believe how long it's been since I posted an entry here? LoL. Unreal.

^Anyway, hello to all my friends! Hello Twin shirasade! (I've missed you!) Belated Happy Anniversary, Deb debrajoy.

^Got Nick's "Now or Never" and am love, love, loving it! Wow. It is so totally fabu! Totally. (Sigh of satisfaction.)

^Nick has even more talent than I realized! Really. What a voice. Yummy. LoL.

^I was excited enough to finally write here again, anyway. Had to share the fun with everyone!!!

^Did the Nick Carter survey!!!

NICK CARTER SurveyCollapse )

^Had my cousins here visiting. That was so much fun! Hadn't seen them since we were little kids. Made me feel like I had a brother and sister! They even IMed with Kit, which was so fabu. Lovely.

^Anyway, I owe tons of emails to friends (wave--I'll write soon, honest!). And need to get better about this LJ. LoL. I'll try...

^I need to go back and read forever with past 'friends' entries. LoL. Catch up time!

^But I think I'll just go listen to my Nick CD. Yay! Loving Nick. Loving him. (I'll have to IM Kit about it...)

^Big happy dance! Nick Carter rules.

^About this Entry
Aug. 17th, 2002 @ 08:59 pm Update, Update! LoL...
^Mood: happyhappy
^Music: "My Confession" (I like it!)

^Okay, okay, I've been bad. Haven't updated in forever and a day (as Mom says).

^Thursday of last week I saw the specialist (yes, with Mom in tow).

^It was quite interesting. He had my x-rays--this time there were circles on each one that sort of showed me (and him, I think) where the 'problem' was. No, it didn't really make it that much easier to tell. But from what Charlie's told me, it's apparently very difficult to read x-rays, anyway. (I guess that's why it was so difficult for the doctor at the x-ray clinic to make things clear to me. LoL.) It's a very specialized thing, and doctors have to be very experienced in the field before they can do it well.

^The specialist is actually a surgeon. That set some bells ringing hard in my head when I realized that. LoL. (Cut, cut, cut.)

^But he was actually really very anti-cut, I thought. Very, very nice, likable man. He discussed tons and tons of surgical 'options'--then suggested I go and have another set of mammograms next week (Tuesday) at a special breast clinic in Portland.

^I'm both excited and nervous about that, but not really thinking about it all that much (if you can believe it).

^Sure, hearing about all the procedures for checking via surgery was a little freaky, to say the least. Even a biopsy is a big enough deal to make you sit up and take notice. But I'm very proud of myself with all this. Once I got past the initial shock, I think I've managed to be pretty pulled together and okay with it. (It's not exactly like I'm the only person in the world who has ever had to deal with it. Plus it's not near as big a deal as what many others deal with, so who am I to be selfish and self-centered about it? I'm glad to say I've gotten over myself a lot... LoL.)

^Anyway, I was, very cool and quite collected during the consultation--and asked all the questions I wanted to know. I feel ready now, really, come what may.

^Mom seems more freaked than I am. Dad, too. But we're all dealing with it together and trying to be positive. Even if I'd have to lose a breast, as Charlie charliemc told me in one of her emails, "It's only a breast. It's not your life." That really sums it up for me, personally. [Thanks again for all your support and help, Charlie! Big wave.]

^I've certainly missed my Twin and all her LJ entries recently. But I was so glad she had such a really lovely time with her friend Marrie during Marrie's visit. (And I'm glad to see Evamaria shirasade back posting to her journal again!)

^It was interesting to see that Jack is actually already in Mexico. It came as something of a shock (as Evamaria didn't know, I don't think, so she'd never told me he'd gone yet).

^Kit has been wonderful. Just incredible and supportive and loving. I feel closer to him than ever, I think. It's cool how adversity can bring people together.

^I think my own problems have made me much more aware of the problems of others, too. I've been proud not to be dwelling entirely on myself during this period of my life. I've been trying to be supportive of others and their situations, and to allow my focus not to be pointed too frequently in my own direction. Hopefully I've succeeded, at least a little...

^It's funny how easy it is to get really wrapped up in ourselves and petty stuff. I mean, I could just curl up and ignore the rest of the world pretty easily (and I did do that a little bit). But this has actually been a growth opportunity--a chance for me to see what it's like all the time for so many unfortunate people. I mean, my own problems haven't even been that big a deal! LoL.

^Anyway, I went to the nude beach today (though it was way too hot to stay long). At least it felt good to get my body out in the sunshine again. And with the possibility of being whacked at in my future--who knows how long it might be before I go there again. (Not that I'd never go back, even if I did have a breast cut off. I certainly would! The hell with how I looked...)

^I feel very proud of how pulled together I've been about all of it. Maybe I'm making too much of it, but I think it's helped me 'grow up' a little--in a good way. I think it's interesting how we can rise to certain occasions, anyway.

^And as I told my Twin (Evamaria), I feel very lucky for the life I lead and the people who are in it--and I wouldn't change places with anyone for anything! Really. I know exactly how blessed I am and am constantly grateful for my blessings.

^I've been spoiled silly by my parents (and friends who know about it)--to say nothing of Kit! Kit has been so incredibly attentive I hardly know what to do! It makes me just beam to write about him...

^Well, on the home front, the sun has been shining like crazy here (which is never a given in the Pacific Northwest--even in summer). I love summers in Gresham/Portland when we're having so much sunshine and warm weather...

^Things have been going really well at my job, too. (I feel lucky, with so many people out of work these days...)

^I want to get started with my 'Tara' tara_r LJ. I've been so lazy about it. LoL.

^Well, I admit I've been goofing off lately like mad. Just playing and so lazy during my time off. (Which includes today, of course.)

^And I'm still on my 'Nancy Drew' kick--reading all my old books. (Yes, they're such silly 'comfort' reading.) I love those dear old books. LoL.

^I've been reading all my 'friends' LJs frequently. So much fun. And I'm especially fond of FatJoey's posts to his LJ--I think they're delightful. So intelligent and funny. (His rants are a total hoot.)

^I also read his "The Fast and the Furious" fic--which totally rocked. (And was truly hot enough to fry eggs. LoL. Fanning myself. Yummy stuff.)

^Yeah, I'm a big fan of that movie. I have to remember to join FatJoey's new list. LoL.

^And I'm excited about his new "American Idol" list, too. Cool idea to allow for AI fic! Think of the possibilities! (Yes, I'm a member there. LoL.)

^Wow, I read Carrie's fic posted there and was pretty impressed. Can't wait for her to post part two. LoL. (I'm all over that Simon. Whew.)

^I do think some of those young guys are just boybanders in the making. LoL. I can easily see them slashed with the BSB and Nsync guys.

^Well, I need to head off to read emails (and maybe IM Kit!). I'm behind with emails, too (but at least I wrote back to my Twin!!!)...

^I also want to eat some ice cream. (God, I swear I've gained five pounds just from my ice cream folly--while using the whole 'tit thing' as an excuse for slurping up bowl after bowl. LoL.)

^Summer is such a lovely time. No doubt about it...

^About this Entry
Aug. 11th, 2002 @ 07:51 pm Icon Crazy... LoL...
^Mood: lazylazy
^Music: "Rainbow Connection" (my song!)
^Hi, Friends! (big, big wave!)

^Hello again, journal. (Did you miss me, journal? I missed you! LoL.)

^Playing around with icons (as crazy about these as everyone else, I guess.) I found some fabu rainbow pics at various spots and just had to use them... LoL.

^Long emails from Kit and some IMing, too. He's just the sweetest, most intelligent, most supportive guy around. (Yes, the girl is pretty crazy about her guy right now. LoL.) I'll just continue to carry on silently (to save my readers from too much gooey romantic talk)... (This is really hard! I want to praise him from the skies. He's my 'rainbow' guy--just making me cheery and smiling.)

^Hugs to all my dear, dear friends who are reading (and wondering where I've been). Big hug to my sweet Twin! (Can't wait to see those pictures from Streetparade, dearest...

^Debra, you should share some pregnant photos! Such a glowing special time for a woman (as Mom always says). Why not?

^Loving reading the celeb LJs. Write more soon, please! (I think Britney's is my personal favorite. I can just hear her 'voice' when I read it! But I can't help loving the flow and story-telling in the Howie LJ, too. LoL. Yummy, slashy goodness...)

^Just in a lovely mood and enjoying the sunny day. Went for a long walk early (before it got too warm) and enjoyed watching people and cats and dogs and kids and soaking up sun. (I probably should have tried for the nude beach this weekend, but I was too lazy. LoL. Couldn't get myself to drive except to get more ice cream...)

^I need to read LJs and fic and check my email and do my bills and some laundry. Don't feel like doing much of anything, though. LoL. Just goofing off...

^I do hope I catch Kit again soon. He's tied up today with Leo and Johnny who are in Cali for a visit, I guess...

^More soon...


^About this Entry